she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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