Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
