we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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