yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
