oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
