I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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