dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
