chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
