so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
