I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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