I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize