There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
