I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
