We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
