hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I need water and some morals
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
