Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
