Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
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