he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
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He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
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It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question