my soul wont recognize me after tonight
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in