He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
