I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize
