now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
