When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
