Even water is tasting like jack daniels
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
