So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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