**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
