I can tuck mytits in my pants
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
