put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Dicks are not precious.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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