we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
