I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Everclear isn't food dammit
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
