I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
