Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
