i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
