Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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