It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
