we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.