Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state

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(847): Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state http://tfl.nu/3q3r

Replies (58) Good night (1885) Bad night (522)
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(443): View more from Maryland

shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

wrong number but thanks

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(443): shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten. (610): wrong number but thanks http://tfl.nu/9cua

Replies (18) Good night (8111) Bad night (837)
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(708): View more from Illinois

sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed

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(708): sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed http://tfl.nu/38z7

Replies (25) Good night (10790) Bad night (1448)
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(207): View more from Maine

Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.

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(207): Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina. http://tfl.nu/f26o

Replies (43) Good night (11976) Bad night (1412)
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(530): View more from California

he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.

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(530): he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning. http://tfl.nu/2vwb

Replies (11) Good night (2486) Bad night (963)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.

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(307): I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA. http://tfl.nu/w3eq

Replies (5) Good night (1708) Bad night (568)
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(509): View more from Washington

Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns

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(509): Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns http://tfl.nu/s30q

Replies (11) Good night (1884) Bad night (858)
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(519): View more from Ontario

No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.

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(519): No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him. http://tfl.nu/boov

Replies (12) Good night (1869) Bad night (820)
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(516): View more from New York

so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry

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(516): so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry http://tfl.nu/npqz

Replies (5) Good night (1155) Bad night (1282)
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(303): View more from Colorado

well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair

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(303): well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair http://tfl.nu/spf3

Replies (3) Good night (1291) Bad night (599)
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(515): View more from Iowa

It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.

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(515): It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them. http://tfl.nu/9jno

Replies (6) Good night (1266) Bad night (456)
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(559): View more from California

Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.

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(559): Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face. http://tfl.nu/ufsv

Replies (10) Good night (697) Bad night (1696)
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(850): View more from Florida

He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.

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(850): He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable. http://tfl.nu/zo4w

Replies (7) Good night (789) Bad night (1032)
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(917): View more from New York City

She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.

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(917): She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl. http://tfl.nu/btqg

Replies (1) Good night (1380) Bad night (825)
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(702): View more from Nevada

It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...

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(702): It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall... http://tfl.nu/3zyu

Replies (6) Good night (534) Bad night (688)

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