That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...