she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
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It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.