Buhtt sex?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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