i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
21 Horny People Confess Their Boldest Sexual Advances
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
29 Shocking Confessions That People Thought Were A Joke
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx