I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
well, you know. whores of a feather.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
