I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
We were destined to go to rehab together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize