You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I want a musical about memes.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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