I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
