Pappa wants mamma naked
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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