I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
