I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
