Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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