Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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