you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
