Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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