Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
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