she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
