She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
