I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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