Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
