90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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