dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
