Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
