I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
