I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
